Dear Diary,
Day….11?…12? of my 21 day quarantine. Ack I seem to have fallen into a very deep dark rabbit hole of Korean dramas and late-night Google searches the last few days.
It started from an innocent search which spiralled into madness starting from:
“how to escape a hotel room with nothing but a plastic spoon.”
That somehow lead me to stories of prison escapes which spiraled into me Googling about drug cartels and it just kept spiraling from there.
It wasn’t until the knock on the door that I realized 12 hours and 27 mins had gone by. With bloodshot eyes and disheveled hair, I opened my room door only to be greeted by a masked lady wrapped in a blue condom…oh whoops I meant a makeshift hazmat suit. “Wear your mask!!!” she screamed at me and slammed my door so fast the wind (the inertia?) from the door almost knocked me to the ground.
I was fully awake now.
It was swab test day.
Sh*t. Totally forgot while in my Googling Blackhole.
Grabbed my Hong Kong ID Card (HKID), a little bag for garbage, wheeled over my chair, composed myself with a smile, and opened the door.
“Wear a mask next time and be prepared. We have a lot of rooms to do, can not wait for you all day next time.” She scolded me like a strict headmaster.
She wheeled Dumbo* over, took my temperature, asked for the first 3 digits of my HKID, and drew out the XXL Q-Tip.
Swab tests are hit-and-miss. Sometimes they’re gentle and the crew is friendly. Today didn’t seem to be the case. She shoved the Q-Tip way up my nose, almost touching my brain, and swabbed until all the skin and hairs from my nose have been completely rubbed off. Then came mouth swabbing…yes lady those are my tonsils. Anymore, I’m going to projectile vomit all over your blue Saran Wrap suit. Ugh, I felt violated. Orifice rape if you will.
But just like that, 4 out of 100,000,000 tests done! I did a little happy dance before crashing on my bed and passing out for a few hours.
I awoke to another knock…it was dinner. Opened the door to find a little collection of meals I’ve slept through. Decided to start a Korean drama to enjoy my meal(s)…..uh….that was a few days ago. My K-Drama ended and I’m out of the rabbit hole.
What day is it? What year? If it wasn’t for Dave Cook from the Facebook Hong Kong Quarantine Support Group checking in on me I would have started another K-Drama. Time is a funny thing in quarantine. Maybe by the end of this Quarantine, I will truly understand Einstein’s theory of Relativity….not.
Love,
A rabbit 🐰 🕳️ hole returning,
Vicky
*Dumbo is the filter used by the Department of Health when taking swab tests. The filter has a long tube that resembles an elephant tusk. Regal Airport Hotel patrons have named it Dumbo.
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